Humor short story by Hermínia Mas. Translated by Ann Force.

The day of the pay cuts, Paul Romany was sad. Paul Romany worked on the fourth floor of the Elocution Department. Every floor had someone who did most of the work, and Paul was the one on the fourth floor. No one had said, “Paul, you must be the worker on this floor.” No. Hard-working by nature, no one could figure out how Paul had ended up on the fourth floor, because everyone up there was a nephew, cousin, or relative of someone else, but Paul had no family ties at work. The fact is Paul was a natural-born worker and once he landed on the fourth floor and the rest of them realized he was dedicated to his job, they wouldn’t let him leave. The day they cut salaries, Paul was concerned because he imagined many would be hard-pressed to make their mortgage payments, or shell out for the kids’ summer camp, or pay for the massage therapist, who probably made her living off the people on the fourth floor. Mary Lou Walnut was the fourth floor head, and she stated that she wanted to set a good example, but unfortunately she had just paid for half of her daughter’s orthodontics, and had also just made a down payment on a motorbike for her son. Peter Gross, the assistant head, said he had just started an extremely strict health regimen that cost him a pretty penny; not only did he have to stop eating, but in order to control his hunger-driven anxiety, it was necessary for him to schedule weekly massages at a hundred euros a pop. The plant supervisor said he would be more than happy to lower his salary, but he would have to wait a couple of years for his son to finish college, and then he would jump right in and set an example. But for now, he had to keep paying tuition to an American university, since the trauma of changing schools would devastate his son. Then there was some discussion, and everyone wanted to have his or her say, and just about everyone had loans, financial obligations, and other monthly bills. And Mary Lou Walnut said they would have another meeting to decide whose salaries would be cut, because they had to start trimming someplace or other, and the fourth floor folks had to set the example, because the third floor had lowered their salaries five percent, the second floor six percent, and the first floor seven percent. And Mary Lou called a formal meeting with the main objective of getting volunteers from the fourth floor who would set the austerity example. Mary Lou proposed that everyone present his point of view and reasons for keeping his current salary, or else be prepared to have his salary lowered. It turned out that everyone did his homework and was well-prepared for the meeting, and all the fourth floor workers brought files and notes with which to argue how a cut in salary would affect their family budget, lifestyle, and social environment. Everyone except Paul, who worked hard at his job and was tired by the time he got home, and he went for a jog each evening, and that day he did the same, and it never entered his head to go sit in front of the computer and prepare his notes for the meeting. When it was his turn to speak, he didn’t have anything to say. They asked if he had any debts, and, since he was no liar, he said no. They asked if he had any bills or debts hanging over his head and he said they were all paid. The result was that they put him on the short list, and after everyone had a say, one thing was perfectly clear: Paul was the only person whose salary could be lowered without causing a total personal, moral and matrimonial setback. So that’s what they did, with all voting in favor and one abstention. Everyone else on the fourth floor would continue receiving their regular salaries, and Paul, setting an example to those on the third floor, would receive eight percent less. At first Paul thought it wasn’t fair in the least, but after substantial rumination, he arrived at the conclusion that, after all, he liked working, and even if they gave him the pay cut, he could probably look for a little something on the side to earn the money they weren’t paying him. And he really felt sorry for the rest of them, because their lives were so complicated. herminiamas@rouredecanroca.cat